tay in motion

i've decided to add in this entry before i go take my nap..

last sat was prob one of the worst all my life.. sam, one of the closest friend in poly had committed suicide.. yes.. i mean it.. and im not the sort that like to joke on such issues.. it was a terrible weekend to pass.. it was difficult to accept the truth.. it was afterall sam.. the one i spent my time in class talking nonsense to.. the one that grow thru my poly life and even ending up in the same platoon during our bmtc..

i last saw him 3 weeks ago and he was fine.. and now.. hes gone.. all my life.. i din even thought of this happening to one of my friend.. everything happened so suddenly, that it hurts badly.. my immune system went down upon hearing the news and i still cant believe he did it.. and i can still hear myself screaming and asking why did he do it.. why din he come and talk to me.. why...

things could have been different..

when i last saw him on sun, it was the hardest ever glance i had to take.. i believe.. it was the hardest i felt all my life.. there are still so much more things that we could do together.. so much..

but i hope, if this is the option that he had chosen, with loving memories, sam, i hope u found the peace u seek for.. and u will always be remembered.. for the time we spent in lessons and out.. when crapping and laughing.. sam, may u rest in peace.